MVP

I wish this meant Most Valuable Player.  In my case, it stands for Mitral Valve Prolapse, a heart problem from which I suffer.  Thanks, Mom.

It's not really a big deal.  In fact, the only time I really think about it is when I'm in the hospital, or about to have surgery - that's when the doctors freak out.  And, if you know me at all, you know that I spend a lot of time in the hospital and in surgery, so this comes into play more often than not.

Basically, between my heart problem, malfunctioning kidneys, torn ACL and meniscus, and all of the other ailments that...er...ail me, I'm a walking disaster.  Sometimes I think I have a brain tumor too.  Oh, and my feet cramp up a lot.

Call the coffin maker.